Friday, December 05, 2008

Important parenting rule

Before I start to write anything about the above, I would like to apologize for 'eloping' quite sometime... :) I rarely get a chance to use the computer now that my little boy knows how to go to his favorite websites and I don't have a lot of time to sit in front of the computer alone to do my work. So now that my babies are asleep, I want to use this time to write at least 1 post.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been in a mission of trying my best to become a good person. I am also trying my best to be patient and to control my emotion well. All these because I was very concerned about my sweet little boy who would change to be a little monster just to get my attention. He would scream so loud until he lost his voice when ever he did not get what he wanted or when ever he felt guilty.
I know that I only have myself to blame for what he became... :( I have forgotten the most important parenting rule that CHILDREN LEARN BY EXAMPLE.
I have forgotten that children are just like sponges who absorb everything they hear and see.
So, when I see my son screaming very loudly to get my attention, I actually see myself in doing that. I did raise my voice and scream at him to get him to listen to me when ever he really got into my nerve. Other family members followed what I did when they wanted him to listen to them. So, he got people yelling at him all the time.

I did know that I should not do that because he would do exactly like that to me or to any one. But then it is easier to say than to do. I still did that until one day, at a mall, he screamed at the top of his lung from one end to another because he was feeling guilty and also because he was afraid that his father would scream at him. So, he screamed first until he really lost his voice for a week.
The sound of his screaming pierced my ears and my heart. It 'knocked' my head so hard that I promised myself to STOP screaming and yelling at him immediately. I have to change my attitude if I want my son to change his. It has to start from me and it should start immediately before it is too late.

So, since that day on, I have been trying my best to give good example for my son to learn without any force. He would be able to see that mommy is able to control her emotion, her tone, and her voice because I realize that I could not ask him to control his anger when at the same time I was shouting angrily at him.
I also ask the help from my family members to stop shouting at him and to change their attitude first before they expect him to do the same.

Whenever he starts to raise his voice, I will tell him softly that it is not necessary to raise voice because when he speaks softly, mommy will be able to understand what he says clearly. This does work perfectly. So far things are getting better. My son is my sweet little boy again. I have great time with him.

It is very very important indeed to remember all the time the most important parenting rule: children learn by example.
Every thing starts from me. If I do not want my son to be a monster, then I should not be a monster either.
Thank you God for reminding me before it is too late.

1 comment:

Ismail N said...

Well said. It is one of the basic rule that we parents seems to forget. Thanks for reminding us all.