Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Upcoming events that you fear might be dangerous actually hold no real threat to
you or to your current lifestyle, so don't spend any time worrying today. Your
fears right now are not warranted at all; you may be in a more cautious phase of
life, but that is only because certain things are starting to mean a lot more to
you. The stakes may be getting higher, but you are completely capable of rising
to the occasion. So act boldly and do not doubt yourself!

That is exactly what my star sign from friendster said about what I'm going to face. It does not look bad. Hmm...I really do hope that is true because at the moment I need some words of encouragement that can boost my spirit a little bit.

I am in a desperate need of having a friend/friends that I can hang out with to help me to get out of my boredom and my loneliness and to lift up my confidence in life. I do know that I have loads of friends, but the problem is they are all scattered all over the world and none of them is near me physically. Not everyone can become my friend. I have set very high expectations based on what my old friends have given me and I just can't lower that expectations because I know true friends will separate themself from ordinary friends by going the extra miles to help their friends.

I really feel so empty without the presence of some friends. What's the point of having the latest model of the best handphone in the world if it never sounds because it will cost my friends a fortune to call me. I even have forgotten the last time I heard my house phone rang. Everything I do always reminds me that I have no friend to interact with, no friend to hang out with, no friend to share my cooking and my story with, no friend to go to a movie, no friend to come and visit me, no friend to go crazy with. Life is so boring and so meaningless.

It is not easy to find a friend that I can relate myself with. I have been locked away from the things I usually did in the past with my friends for 2 years and will continue until how long I don't know. What I know is that now I have forgotten how to make friend, I've lost my confidence in me, I've lost my positive attitude, I've lost the beauty in me. It is very hard to describe how it bothers me so much not having a friend around me. I am a very sociable person by nature, so being told of to accept the fact that those days with my friends around me are gone, it makes me want to kill myself.

So now, rather than I kill myself, I'd better hold on to those beautiful memories I have with all my friends hoping that they will return to me eventually someday while trying my best to cope with the current situation with the help of internet to keep in touch to the best I can with all my friends where ever they are in the world to fill my emptiness and my loneliness. I know I can do it. My star sign said I am capable of rising to the occasion.

I know my son has been the greatest friend I have so far. I sing and dance with him. I cook special food for him. I talk and tell stories to him. I cuddle him. I keep him company every minute. I love him so much and I do not mind at all spending all the time I have for him, but then please I beg you: not to ask me about what's going on in this world because I may not have time to watch the news or to log on internet anymore, not to set a minimum salary I have to get when the time is come for me to get a job because I will have been 'gong' (blur) and will have been disconnected from the world for years, not to ask me to write a complicated program which I used to be able to because my priority will be to apply the any algorithms to make my son to eat.

All these conditions you have set for me will make me crave more for the presence of my friends who can understand me, who can understand my situation, and who can understand what I have been going through.

Ask me about children songs and nursery rhymes, I'll sing for you all until you get sick of those songs. Ask me about how to breastfeed, I'll teach you how to do it correctly. Ask me about how to change nappy, I'll show you the quickest way to do it. My world is a completely different world now. It's a motherhood world with no pay and no sick leave. I hope you acknowledge and appreciate that.

Just like what my star sign said, I should not spend my time worrying about upcoming event that I fear will become a threat for me and I'd better start now.
I really do hope you help me and not posing any questions that can bring me down into my depression more. Just be my friend, because I need a friend and I hope you can be my true friend indeed.

Monday, August 14, 2006

On my birthday...

On my birthday,
I would like to say,
to you my friend,
from the far away land

You have came into my difficult and complicated life
brought loads of happiness other people had made it such a strife
You have never left me alone
even if I have to fight the world on my own

How wonderful you are
you let me forget my old scar
lead me to shine like the north star
even if you think I am a little bit bizarre

Now I am without you
I feel so lonely I always feel blue
Please tell me what to do
Shall I fly to you and have our friendship renewed?

Dedicated to all my beloved friends where ever you are. How I wish I could celebrate this day together with you like before.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Eating disorder

My hubby and I agree that both of us have eating disorder disease. Our eating disorder disease is not the one that makes us look super thin like a living skeleton but instead is the one that makes us look like an elephant.

We started to realize having eating disorder when we went to Someplace Else pub at Sheraton Labuan where we could see there are so many girls, men, women with great looking bodies who enjoy showing off parts of their body to look sexier because they are confident of their great body shape. We started to look at our own body shape and things we have eaten the whole night that night. We used to be like them. We used to be very sexy and have a great body shape too. But then again, when we recalled what we ate, just that night, we had a full set of buffet including barbecue meat (lamb, beef, mutton) and seafood(crab, lobster, prawn) for our dinner and then we proceeded to the pub ordering 2 bottles of beer (for my hubby) and a glass of Baileys on the rock for me together with a plate of nuts and some crackers, we both agreed that we need to fight our eating disorder to go back to our sexy shape.

But I don't think it is going to be easy for us because both of us just like to eat. We think it's fun to try many different kinds of dishes as long as we can afford them. We like to go to a buffet where you can have a complete set of meal course from starter to dessert as much as you want.

Our favorite desserts are ice cream and cakes (mostly are chocolate and tiramisu) and the worst thing is that we prefer to have them at night just before we go to bed.
We also love to eat crabs and prawns. We will hunt all the restaurants that serve good big black pepper/chilli crabs.
My husband favorite dish is curry, and as I have mentioned before on one of my previous post, if possible, he would like anything to be curried.
As for me, I have to confess that my favorite fruit among all fruits in the world is the King of fruit or you can call it Durian. To me, Durian is a sacred fruit and can only be enjoyed as it is. What I mean is that I don't like to enjoy Durian when it is made into a cake, ice cream, or anything else. When I eat/enjoy my Durian, I never want to share it with anyone else even with my beloved people. I become a very selfish person when it comes to a fresh ripe Durian.

Not only the food we eat has been contributing to our eating disorder, but our habit of sitting in front of computer for hours after meal could also be blamed for creating our big belly figures.
So, with eating disorder and bad habit of sleeping or sitting for hours after meal, you can imagine how 'humongous' we are.
I actually had realized about this eating disorder when I went to Singapore to shop. I was very disappointed and sad when I went home from Singapore empty handed because I just could not find my cloth size. All the cloths suddently look so tiny to me even for the L size.
But still, I was trying to deny that I have an eating disorder that has disfigured my used-to-be great looking figure.

I guess time is running out for both us. If we do not try to do something about it, we will be in a great danger of having other diseases such as high blood pressure, heart attack, or just plain obese. Every time my husband and I try to remind each other to exercise and we are trying our best to exercise.

For my husband, things are not so bad because he works and at work, he needs to always walk from one place to another which is quite a distance.
But for me, since I don't work and the place I live in is very small so not much space to move around, I just have to push my self to go out of the house to swim or to run at the park.

I hope by our birthdays, we will be able to loose a few Kgs so that we can put on our sexiest cloths and start to attract each other again with our great body shape. Hmm...that means I have to work out more because my birthday comes first... :-( Oh what a disease!


Monday, August 07, 2006

Labuan, Malaysia

Labuan is a tiny island. It is part of Malaysia situated on the north of Borneo island near Sabah. It takes 2 hours and 20 minutes to fly there by Air Asia ( plane from Kuala Lumpur low cost carrier terminal (LCCT).

The reasons to come to Labuan are because it has a very beautiful and clean beaches circling the island and also because Labuan is a duty free state where chocolate and liquor prices are cheaper compared to other states in Malaysia.

Labuan is very quite so it is the best destination to get away from our hectic life to get a peace of mind, to relax and to spend time with the whole family.

Since the island is quite small, the distance from one place to another is not too far and it doesn't take long to travel around the island. From the airport to our hotel (Sheraton Labuan) which is located at the opposite of the financial park center, it took less than 10 minutes by taxi and it costs RM8.80 (you must purchase the ticket at the counter) and traffic is so smooth because not many cars on the road.

If we wanted to circle the whole island, it will take about 1 - 1.5 hours with maximum of 5 minutes stopping to take photograph at each tourist destination and it costs less than RM50 for the taxi ride.
Circling the whole island is the best way to see what Labuan can offer for your best vacation time. The view is magnificent and it is very peaceful. The people there are quite friendly and helpful.

During our visit to this island, we stayed at Sheraton Labuan Hotel which is the best hotel in Labuan. The hotel is beautiful and we were quite lucky to get a room overlooking the sea and the swimming pool. This hotel really gives the best service and a very prompt one. Sheraton Labuan can give a good internet rate if you book online. We were quite happy to stay at this hotel because in front of this hotel, there is the biggest shopping mall complex in which you can shop (buy some duty-free products), eat, play bowling or just hang out. There is Pos Malaysia there too in case you want to mail some postcards to your family and friends.

On our 1st night in Labuan, we went to Mawilla Yatch Club seafood restaurant to have dinner. This restaurant is not too far from Sheraton. It costs RM7-8 one way by taxi. The hotel will be happy to call the taxi for you. The restaurant is by the sea so you can eat while enjoying the sea breeze touches your face. We ordered steam fish kampong style and it was very delicious. You choose your own fish and they will weigh and tell you how much it costs. Other dishes were quite good too except the black pepper crab. The crab unfortunately was quite small and there was too much soy sauce instead of black pepper so it became quite sweet instead of pepper hot. (on the side: The best black pepper crabs I've ever tasted is at Hai Pa Wang Restaurant in Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia. This restaurant bakes the crabs first before they cook the crabs black pepper style and they only serve medium/big crabs!).

For our second day in Labuan, we went to Financial Park center to have lunch. There are many restaurants and a food court in there, including KFC and Pizza Hut. After having lunch, we went to Labuan International Sea Sport Complex and visited Labuan Marine Musium (There is NO entrance fee charged in here). For dinner, we wanted to try Labuan chinese food and our taxi driver took us to Portview Restaurant and Lounge. This restaurant is under the same management as the Mawilla but this time all the dishes we ordered were quite good especially the baked cheesy tiger prawns. It's yummy.

On our 3rd day, we went to Seri Malindo Restaurant to have lunch. Seri Malindo is near Sarah hotel about less than 10 minutes away from Sheraton. This place serves Malaysian and Indonesian style dishes. The food is cheap. After lunch, we took a taxi ride to circle the whole island. After that, my husband and I had a stroll around the Labuan Square and we had 2 big fresh coconut juices at Medan Selera food joint just behind Sheraton hotel. For our dinner, we decided to have buffet in our hotel. Sheraton serves a wonderful delicious food at their theme buffet restaurant Victoria's brasseri. After putting my son to bed, my husband and I went to Someplace Else Pub in Sheraton. This pub is quite happening. Many people visit this pub. My husband and I were having a great time together. Unfortunately, we are not accustomed to going to a pub late at night anymore, so by 11pm, both of us yawning at the same time and we decided to go back to our room and sleep.

It was a wonderful trip for our family. We hope to go back to Labuan again some other time (I hope Air Asia gives away more tickets) to buy more chocolates. :-)

If you want to visit Labuan, I suggest you check out this website: for a more complete information about all tourist attractions there.


The power of prayer

When I found out that my son was down with the viral infection again, I felt so devastated because we supposed to go for a family vacation in 2 days.
Day and night I prayed very hard so that God would help to heal my son while taking care of him.
I really wanted to go for this vacation because I was hoping that all of us could spend the quality family time together far away from everything that has made my husband and I almost forgot about spending time together. We got free tickets from Air Asia ( to go to (Wilayah Persekutuan) Labuan when this budget airline gave away 2 million tickets to go to any Air Asia destinations. We have booked the hotel and the transportation.

It was one day to go for our family vacation and we haven't decided whether to cancel this trip or not because we still put our hope high on the great power of prayer and our faith that God would help us to heal my son just in time for our vacation.
At the end, God answered our prayer. My son's body temperature settled down and he was doing fine. After consulting the Paed, we managed to go to Labuan for a 4-day family vacation.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

How hard is it to stay with your marriage commitment?

The answer is VERY HARD. I really do find it hard if I have to keep the marriage commitment by myself and my other half doesn't even bother to help. In a marriage, it takes 2 to tango. I can say this not because I want to break away from my marriage commitment, but because I found it that many people in this sinful world just cannot keep their married commitments. There are too many married people or shall I say almost all married people have betrayed their other halves because of the marital problems they experience in their marriage life and then this betrayal usually will lead to a break up in the marriage. This is a very sad situation especially if there are innocent children involved.

According to my own little survey, married people get bored with their marriage situation after a certain period of time so they start to go for a 'little adventure' outside their marriage life to challenge their spirit and of course their other halves to see if it is worth to keep the marriage commitment.

Gosh! I wish that these people could understand that a marriage is NEVER a game in your life. it involves a lot of innocence people when children are present in the marriage. If at the end you just can't stay being married to the same person, why the hell in the first place you dare to take the vow and say "I do" after all the conditions of marriage being mentioned in front of your face?

One sentence during my wedding I remember the most is "Do you X take Y as your beloved wife/husband and stay with her/him for better for worse, in sickness, in health, in rich and in poor, till death do you apart?" (or something like that).
This sentence carries the heaviest part of your wedding vow. Most in love couple that are getting married will just say "I do" without even listening to the important question being asked. It's so easy for them to say "I do" without realizing that they are making a VOW in front of God and His witnesses. That is a VOW! Not just an ordinary promise. It's not supposed to be broken just like that.

By saying "I do", you are not just making a vow in front of God and His witness, but you are also agreeing to meet your wedding commitment to be with the person you are marrying with for what ever the marriage conditions are. This is not an easy commitment to make and to maintain and this is not a joke or a play. That is why you need to be mature enough to get married. You need to be strong enough to face all the challenges in your marriage life and you need to be able to understand that marriage is a union between 2 different people with different background and living style. There is feeling involved too.

But unfortunately and sadly, many people just simply forget about that VOW/commitment. Some of them may not remember saying "I do" because they were soo tired during the wedding or they were so nervous, blah blah..many other reasons.
With the strong reason of "irreconcilable differences", a couple brakes their marriage without even trying their best to work out the differences and to mend the relationship. Well, you know you are married to a person with a different head, don't you! So, why did you marry that person then? You should never 'punish' the other person by breaking the marriage and hiding behind those differences just to have a go to another different person? Do you think you'll be successful this time? Unless you are marrying to YOUR CLONE, I don't think it's fair to say that your new relationship with new person will work out because you will still have differences with that new person.

Rather than wasting your energy, age, money, and time to deal with a new breed, why don't you try to focus on working out your differences with your used-to-beloved other half? Give yourself and your other half a chance to adjust the differences between you. Try to remember how you 2 started to fall in love to each other and try to remember that you have VOWED "YOU AGREE TO TAKE YOUR OTHER HALF AS YOUR BELOVED WIFE/HUSBAND FOR BETTER FOR WORSE (this include if you other half is getting fat or bald or not sexy or disfigure), IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN RICH AND IN POOR, TILL DEATH DO YOU 2 APART."

So, as a matured grown up, you have to be able to fight the evil in you and never let evil interfere in your marriage life which is already challenging enough for both of you. Open communication is the key. Look at your children's innocent eyes. They will learn how to love from both of you. Have a cup of coffee/tea (not any alcoholic drinks, because alcohol will just blur your mind), sit down and discuss your differences with a cool head and an open mind. Please do not blame each other for whatever bad things in your marriage life but instead, unite as one to fight the 'unwanted evil guesses' that come and go to disturb and to test your commitment. As I said before, it takes 2 to tango, work together as 1 so neither of you will be blamed for 'inviting' bad energy into your marriage.

NOTE: This article doesn't apply to people who are abusive (verbally or physically) to their partners.

edited by Coffeeliqueur: Wed, 02 August 2006.