Tuesday, October 09, 2007

This is for men

It's already October. I have not been very active in the virtual world for the past 2 weeks because I have lost my motivation and my mood completely. I thought I would never post any more stories in my blog until yesterday when I read The Star newspaper.

There is a small article written by M.Krishnamoorthy which is titled "Listening to wives more curbs nagging, says expert".
Wow! Just by reading the title, I felt so motivated right away to bring up this subject to my blog.
Wow! I said it again because I am so amazed by the article...:) Thank God finally someone understand us (women). I feel so empowered..:D
Print it out, frame it, and hang it in the room where you and your wife spend time the most so that every time your wife nags, you'll remember what to do.

Based on the story in that article, to have happy marriages, men need to listen more to the wives to restraint nagging.
According to Dr. Leonard Yong, an educational psychologist, Malaysian men do not spend enough time with the family, listening to the wives and children.

I think this does not only happen to Malaysian men but it happens to almost all men with big ego in their heads.
The most common reason thrown by men is men need to work to lay bread on the table. Men have to work hard 24/7 to meet the minimum standard of life.
Ok, I agree. No one denies that. But men have to remember that they work hard to make some money for the whole family; wife and children are part of the family. But if you work hard for your own satisfaction or you are just a pure workaholic, don't get married then if you are still so selfish thinking about yourself all the time.

Just like what Dr. Leonard Yong said, "Paying attention to the wife can reduce the level of nagging and result in good marital relationship. Good focused listening to the wife when she is troubled is the best way to resolve any misunderstanding in the family."
In my own word: your wife is NOT part of your house decoration. When she makes noise, she wants you to remember that she is your partner in life. You ought to listen to her.

Most men walk away or talk back when their wives throw so many words per second just like a machine gun because they say they can't stand it.
This action won't solve the problem but escalates it instead and this is not a creative solution to relationship. According to Dr. Yong, creative solutions to relationships come from being able to challenge yourself. So, if you choose to just walk away or argue back, you don't challenge yourself. Oh well, I thought men like to challenge themselves so men should be able to stand still and listen to the nagging.

I believe many men think that standing still and listening to wives nagging are signs of surrendering their pride (and ego). In fact, it's the total opposite. If you, as a man, stand still and listen even if your wife asks you to go away, she will realize how important it is to have you in her life and she will stop nagging eventually. Even better if you come closer to her and embrace her when she starts to cry. Oh...man...you are actually winning the battle together. Your wife will love you more and more and you are the most precious thing in her life and you will realize that this is what men should do; stand by her and protect her because she was created out of your ribs to be protected and to be on your side for better for worse. So, listen to her woes...she will appreciate you more and you will have a happy marriage.

1 comment:

johnorford said...

hey tia, this is a great post. don't give up just yet if u write posts from the heart like like :)

am thinking of going to indonesia in jan, r u going to b around by any chance? would b great if u were :)

anyways, sorry for lack of communication, have been worked off my feet -- "luckily" i don't have any gf or wife to feel guilty about tho ;):)

john