One day at a time

There is a thin line between life and death, happiness and sadness. One day you are so much alive and extremely happy, the next day you could be terribly sad and dying. As an ordinary human beings, we would never know what will happen in our life because life is full of surprises. Knowing this will teach us to stay 'alert' and always be prepared with what may come next.

My brother and his family are trying to cope with life surprises one day at a time. Just barely 2 months ago, my brother was extremely happy for his beloved wife has finally found a job she had dreamed for so long. This was a very good surprise as many people were losing their jobs in this economic downturn. And then, another great news came along when they found out that she was 10 weeks pregnant with their 3rd child. Everything was fine. They rejoiced God's gracious gifts for them everyday.

But then, just less than a week ago, their happy moment was cut short. My sis-in-law was admitted to the emergency room in Panti Rapih hospital for a very high fever. They suspected dengue caused the high fever because my sis-in-law developed rashes on her body. The blood test came out to confirm their suspicion. For 4 nights my sis-in-law had a high fever of 40⁰C.
Her ob/gyn was very concerned about the development of the fetus inside her womb. The scan result showed that the fetus' growth was disturbed by this virus. The fetus didn't grow properly. The mother was trying her best to cope with all symptoms of dengue fever.

On the 5th day, her body temperature was normal. Her blood pressure was also normal. But then, she started to bleed everywhere because her thrombocyte count was very low. When the ob/gyn did the scan to see the fetus, they found out that the fetus has disappeared.
Up to present, she's still under observation in the hospital. I've been asking my brother to provide her with guava juice and guava leaves juice to help increasing her thrombocyte count.

I'm so far away from her and all I can do is praying and I would be grateful if you could pray with me for my sis-in-law's recovery.
Please do take good care of yourself and your family and keep your environment free from mosquitoes breeding ground everyday. This is one way of 'staying alert' and 'being prepared' for any life surprises one day at a time.

The Giant Maze - my life philosophy

Playing games is still one of my favorite activities to keep me occupied since I was small. I used to play games in the computer but since I have a handphone, I love to play games in my handphone because I can just use 1 hand even 1 finger to play the game so I have my other hand free to do other stuff and it is very handy. But in this post, I'm not going to talk about the games on my handphone or my favorite computer games. I'm going to discuss about how I view my life as a game player.

I always picture my life like a giant cruel maze game with me as the game player. Not only the maze has so many branches that I can choose, it also has many surprising challenges along the way that I have to face on my mission to find my way out. I'll get points whenever I win the battles but the points are only given if I do good things, fight the battles according to the rules and don't cheat. I also have to beat my opponents to be able to get out alive with respect and dignity though I'll be bruised and full of scratches everywhere. At the end of the maze my points will be calculated and there'll be an award for me, it's called Heaven. There is no limited number of trials when I fail to fight the challenges or when I hit a dead end. The only one that can be my guidance is God the almighty who has created everything and the only way to ask for guidance is by praying.

Every time I reach an important milestone in my life, I have to find my way out of a new level of maze. This new level of maze will be more complicated, has more difficult challenges and there are more opponents along the way. But in this new level of maze, I may get a partner to help me fight my way out and may get gifts when I manage to fight certain challenges. When I am lucky, I can get a partner that can work together with me in everything. We complete each other and can't be separated. If I'm lucky, I can get a partner that will support me and boost my moral spirit when I'm down or when I feel like giving up. But then my partner may not have the same fighting spirit as me and can't work with me. My partner may be a quitter or a loser. My partner may be someone that likes to cheat or break the rules. All these will pose a different level of challenges in already complicated maze I am in.

As a person, I am not a quitter. I don't like to cheat. I don't give up so easily and I'm very competitive. But I also have my weaknesses. Along the way in the maze, I have break downs and confusions. I get tired and worn out. I fall down and I am disappointed. The worst of all, my partner think that the maze I am in is too complicated. He is thinking of quitting his partnership with me so that he can work his way out alone.

But then, because I always pray for His guidance, He gives me help and pull me up again. Just like playing the games in my handphone/my computer, I always want to win and get into the next level though I know things will be more complex and more difficult. But the reward I'm going to get when I finally find my way out boost my fighting spirit higher and higher. I determine to get it.

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Good morning, everyone! Selamat Pagi!

I'm back in Ipoh now from my 2-week vacation in The Philippines. But not too long, because tomorrow, I'll be heading north to Penang to celebrate Chinese New Year with my hubby's family.
It's time to pack again... :)

I really hope that Ipoh's weather will be clear today so that my cloths can dry on time. Otherwise I won't have enough cloths to bring to Penang. I brought so many dirty cloths from my 2-week vacation.

All in all, my trip to The Philippines would have been great if not because of 4-hour flight delay that I experienced on the way back to Ipoh. The worst thing, the passengers were not even informed in advance. So, my children and I had to wait for 3 hours before we found out that the flight departure time had been changed to 4 hours later.
Thank God we were travelling in business class so we had the invitation to the executive lounge. Thank God my children were behaving well while waiting for boarding.
After we landed in KLIA, we still had to continue our journey by land for another 3-hour drive to Ipoh. By the time we entered our house, it was 3.30am already. We were exhausted. My son had to skip school because he just could not wake up and he told me that his body ached.

We had 1 day to rest before we start our journey to Penang to join the exodus of Chinese New Year balik kampung. We will have to leave early from Ipoh because the traffic was already very bad on Friday.

I hope to be able to post more stories and photos for you when I return to Ipoh.

In the mean time, I would like to wish you Happy Chinese New Year. Gong Xi Fa Cai! May the year of Ox will be a great year for you all.

Trip to Manila

Since the day I landed at Ninoy Aquino Airport, Manila, The Philippines, people always speak to me in Tagalog. They thought I am Filipino. I have expected this because I do look like the Filipinos... :) especially when I introduce my self with my full name. When I'm out of my country, Indonesia, people always think I come from The Philippines. I'm fine with that. I just have to inform my nationality to people when they start to speak in Tagalog to me. They will give me a big warm smile because they also understand that the Indonesians and the Filipinos look alike. :)

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to visit Manila. I think I'm just lucky to be able to spend a 2 week-vacation here with my 2 children. It's like hitting a jackpot especially during this economic downturn.

I was very surprise to find out that Manila looks exactly the same as Jakarta, Indonesia, in almost everything, such as: the traffic jam, the people, the way of life, the transportation (they have jeepney, we have microlet. They have motorbike trishaws, we have becak (trishaw)/ojek(motorbike taxi)). It's like going back home to me. The main difference is just the language we speak. But some of the people I know in Manila know how to speak bahasa Indonesia as well. So, when they speak bahasa Indonesia to me, honestly, I completely forget that I am in The Philippines.

On this trip I don't stay in the heart of the city but in the area called Alabang. Alabang is in the south of Manila. It's about 1 hour drive from Manila with traffic jam or about 30 minutes without the jam. I'm not accustomed anymore to the hectic situation in big city like Manila. I prefer to stay out side the city where things are more in order and cleaner.

So far I have visited Manila, Santa Rosa, and Tagaytay. I can only visit Manila on the weekend since there is less traffic on the weekend. I don't like to get trapped in the long traffic jam. It's a waste of time. I personally don't really fancy visiting Manila. I went there just to visit Manila Cathedral and St. Agustine Church in Intramuros. Going to Manila to me is like going back to Jakarta. Even when I go back to Jakarta, I seldom go out of the house because of the traffic jam everywhere.

I prefer Santa Rosa and Tagaytay. Santa Rosa is on the same direction as Tagaytay. The trip to Tagaytay reminds me of my trip to Puncak (near Jakarta). Along the way to Tagaytay, I saw many people selling tropical fruits such as pineapples, bananas, manggosteens, pandan coconut, jackfruits, etc. The fruits are fantastic! I love the pineapples and the pandan coconut very much. They sell the pineapples 100 Pesos (approximately 8 Ringgit Malaysia) for 6 pineapples and 10 Pesos for 1 coconut. I also saw people selling steamed corn on the roadside.

It's very cold at Tagaytay because it is higher up the mountain (volcano actually). The soil is also very fertile. I can see the pineapples, corn, and coconut plantations along the way. The view was fantastic. I could see a small volcano inside a volcano (Taal Volcano). Too bad I did not have a chance to visit People's Park at Tagaytay.

So far things have been great. The people I met are very helpful, polite and friendly. I hope to enjoy this trip as much as I can. If I have a chance, I'll post more story for you. In the meantime, you can view the slideshow of some photos I took here in The Phillipines.

ManilaFamilyTrip

Mabuhay! Welcome!

Happy New Year everyone! How are you? How's your new year party?

It's my 1st post for the new year and it's already the 9th day. How time flies!

Since my last post, I found it extremely hard to sit down and write a blog because I've been traveling so much with my 2 children on tow. In fact, at the moment, I'm writing this blog from my room of a beautiful hotel in Manila, The Philippines.
Magandang umaga (good morning - tagalog) to you all!

The year 2008 has been great for me. I had a new addition to my family. The 1st half of the year was about preparing for the coming of this new addition and the other half of the year was about taking good care of this beautiful addition to my family to make sure she would always be healthy and happy. The 2008 was also a year for me to adapt to my new title as a mother of two children. The year has gone by so fast because I was always busy and for the first time since I moved to Malaysia 4 years ago, I had friends to hang out with. So, in 2008, I didn't spend a lot of time sitting in front of my computer all the time and looks like in 2009 I will not have much time either as 2 children will need my attention more.

2 months after I gave birth in 2008, I already went back to my traveling habit... :)
I took my 2 children going back and forth to have vacation in Kuala Lumpur and Penang. We even celebrated New Year in Kuala Lumpur watching the mirror reflection of great fireworks display from Petronas Twin Tower in our hotel room. My children are too small to join the crowd.

For my 2 month old baby, her 1st vacation was in Penang. We stayed in Park Royal hotel. It was a wonderful trip because I had a chance to relax and to swim while my husband helped me to take care the children in the children playroom. We loved to stay in this hotel. The hotel has direct access to the famous and beautiful Ferringgi beach. It serves great buffet breakfast for the guests. No wonder this hotel enjoys a high occupancy rate during the holiday seasons.

Now, at 4 months old, my baby has had her 1st flight to Manila. She was very excited. It was a new experience to her. She didn't sleep a lot during the flight. She was busy cooing and screaming. I felt sorry for other passengers who seated near us. Fortunately, the flight was not too full so most empty seats were around our seats... :)

I would love to be able to post a story from Manila but unfortunately I have to get ready to have breakfast downstair before it finishes. So, hopefully I will be able to find sometime to sit down again and write you the story.

Though I have a brand new beautiful laptop now, it doesn't guarantee me of being able to use it. I love my new laptop by the way. It's Lenovo 3000 G230. My son uses my laptop more than I do. At 4 years old, he is very skillful in using a computer. He even knows how to go to youtube! He loves to watch fireworks shows and his favorite children shows in youtube. I always have to monitor him when he's in front of the computer.

I pray so that every one will have a great year this year. It will be a year full of hardwork and determination to survive this economic downturn. No one is immune to it.

Season's Greeting

It's been and it will be a very busy and hectic weeks to end this year. So, while I have a chance to visit the www, I would like to wish you all "Merry Christmas 2008" and "Happy New Year 2009".
Thank you very much for your support and for visiting my blog. I wish you all the best things in the coming year.

I try my best to update my blog as often as I can. So, keep visiting this blog.

Important parenting rule

Before I start to write anything about the above, I would like to apologize for 'eloping' quite sometime... :) I rarely get a chance to use the computer now that my little boy knows how to go to his favorite websites and I don't have a lot of time to sit in front of the computer alone to do my work. So now that my babies are asleep, I want to use this time to write at least 1 post.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been in a mission of trying my best to become a good person. I am also trying my best to be patient and to control my emotion well. All these because I was very concerned about my sweet little boy who would change to be a little monster just to get my attention. He would scream so loud until he lost his voice when ever he did not get what he wanted or when ever he felt guilty.
I know that I only have myself to blame for what he became... :( I have forgotten the most important parenting rule that CHILDREN LEARN BY EXAMPLE.
I have forgotten that children are just like sponges who absorb everything they hear and see.
So, when I see my son screaming very loudly to get my attention, I actually see myself in doing that. I did raise my voice and scream at him to get him to listen to me when ever he really got into my nerve. Other family members followed what I did when they wanted him to listen to them. So, he got people yelling at him all the time.

I did know that I should not do that because he would do exactly like that to me or to any one. But then it is easier to say than to do. I still did that until one day, at a mall, he screamed at the top of his lung from one end to another because he was feeling guilty and also because he was afraid that his father would scream at him. So, he screamed first until he really lost his voice for a week.
The sound of his screaming pierced my ears and my heart. It 'knocked' my head so hard that I promised myself to STOP screaming and yelling at him immediately. I have to change my attitude if I want my son to change his. It has to start from me and it should start immediately before it is too late.

So, since that day on, I have been trying my best to give good example for my son to learn without any force. He would be able to see that mommy is able to control her emotion, her tone, and her voice because I realize that I could not ask him to control his anger when at the same time I was shouting angrily at him.
I also ask the help from my family members to stop shouting at him and to change their attitude first before they expect him to do the same.

Whenever he starts to raise his voice, I will tell him softly that it is not necessary to raise voice because when he speaks softly, mommy will be able to understand what he says clearly. This does work perfectly. So far things are getting better. My son is my sweet little boy again. I have great time with him.

It is very very important indeed to remember all the time the most important parenting rule: children learn by example.
Every thing starts from me. If I do not want my son to be a monster, then I should not be a monster either.
Thank you God for reminding me before it is too late.

New experience at Indonesian Embassy in Kuala Lumpur

Di tahun-tahun yang lalu, setiap kali saya harus berurusan dengan KBRI di Kuala Lumpur adalah mimpi buruk bagi saya. Saya merasa sangat malas dan takut untuk datang kesana karena keadaan di kedubes yang super semrawut, kotor, bau, penuh asap rokok, dan selalu penuh sesak. Terutama setiap kali saya harus menghantar pembantu saya untuk segala urusan dengan KBRI, saya tidak punya pilihan dan harus membawa anak saya ikut serta.

Dari Ipoh, kami harus datang pagi-pagi sekali untuk mengantri. Biasanya kami tiba di muka pintu KBRI sekitar pukul 7.30 pagi dan mengantri berdesak-desakan menunggu pintu kedubes dibuka pada pukul 9 pagi. Orang banyak sudah antri lebih pagi dari saya. Ada yang datang pukul 4 pagi agar dapat tempat antri paling depan. Mana bisa saya datang pukul 4 pagi karena saya harus naik kereta api dari Ipoh pukul 2 pagi dan baru tiba di stasiun sentral Kuala Lumpur pukul 7 pagi. Tidak tega hati saya melihat keadaan anak saya yang terpaksa ikut mengantri. Dia kecapekan, kepanasan dan merasa sangat bosan. Tapi apa boleh buat. Pembantu saya tidak bisa mengerjakan semuanya sendiri karena dia tidak pandai berbahasa Indonesia (pembantu saya orang Kalimantan yang tidak pernah berbahasa Indonesia di kampungnya) dan sering kali urusan malah tambah panjang dan runyam.

Kebanyakan orang Indonesia yang datang ke KBRI di KL adalah untuk memperpanjang paspor. Antrian untuk hal ini sangat panjang dan membutuhkan waktu yang sangat lama untuk mendapatkan paspornya. Jadi mereka harus datang lagi dan mengantri lagi, menunggu nama mereka dipanggil. Saat itu saya dan pembantu saya belum perlu membuat paspor baru. Tetapi tetap saja kami harus mengantri diantrian yang sama dan menunggu nama dipanggil di loket yang sama dengan pembuatan paspor baru. Saya tidak berani memikirkan bagaimana kalau saya/pembantu saya harus membuat paspor baru.

Tapi saya tidak punya pilihan ketika saya benar-benar harus membuat paspor baru karena paspor saya sudah mendekati habis masa berlakunya. Saya pusing tujuh keliling dan tidak bisa tidur memikirkan hal ini apalagi anak saya 2 yang harus saya bawa dan yang satunya masih bayi 2.5 bulan. Saya ribut terus dengan suami yang meskipun bukan orang Indonesia dia juga tahu keadaan yang tidak menyenangkan itu. Dia malas menemani saya ke KBRI. Saya benar-benar hampir putus asa dan memilih untuk pulang ke Indonesia saja untuk memperbarui paspor. Tetapi masalahnya, bayi saya tidak bisa ditinggal karena dia minum ASI dan tak ada orang lain lagi yang bisa mengurusnya selain saya. Lagipula, dia belum dibuatkan paspor Malaysia.

Dengan segala harapan agar bisa mendapatkan informasi yang bisa membuat saya tenang, saya kunjungi website KBRI di KL (http://www.kbrikl.org.my). Meski sebelumnya saya sudah mendapatkan informasi melalui telepon, tetap saja saya tidak terlalu percaya bahwa pembuatan paspor hanya butuh waktu 1 hari. Masalahnya, yang datang ke KBRI setiap harinya bisa ribuan orang. Saya begitu gembira ketika saya membaca informasi di website KBRI. Semenjak KBRI dipimpin oleh duta besar yang baru, semua sistem diperbarui dan diperbaiki. Sekarang semua urusan memiliki tahap-tahap yang jelas. Proses pengurusan pun sangat cepat dan transparan. Yang sangat membuat saya gembira adalah informasi bahwa pembuatan paspor hanya membutuhkan waktu 3 jam! 3 jam! Wow!

Website KBRI pun berubah total. Saya bisa mendapatkan informasi, men-download dan mengeprint sendiri formulir-formulir yang saya butuhkan. Bahkan diinformasikan di website bahwa sekarang keadaan di KBRI di KL tidak semrawut lagi karena sudah memakai sistem nomor dan tidak perlu mengantri berjam-jam lagi.
Saat itu juga, saya beritakan hal ini kepada suami saya. Dia masih tidak percaya. Tetapi dia bersedia mengantar saya. Dia ingin agar kami berangkat hari itu juga selekasnya agar segala urusan selesai lebih awal. Jadilah Selasa yang lalu saya sekeluarga menginap di Kuala Lumpur selama 2 malam. Perjalanan dari Ipoh ke Kuala Lumpur memakan waktu sekitar 2.5 jam lewat Lebuh Raya Utara-Selatan. Tetapi berhubung saya membawa bayi saya yang berusia 2.5 bulan, kami harus berhenti sekejap untuk memberi ASI dan untuk buang air kecil di area peristirahatan Tapah.

Keesokan harinya saya tiba di KBRI pukul 10 pagi. Saya sudah membawa dokumen lengkap dan fomulir yang sudah saya isi dari rumah. Saya tidak melihat antrian panjang lagi. Saya langsung masuk melalui pintu 1 (dulu melalui pintu 2) untuk ambil nomor. Begitu mendapat nomor, mata saya terbelalak. Saya dapat nomor 3001 untuk kategori pembuatan paspor baru 48 halaman dan ketika saya masuk ruangan, saya lebih terbelalak lagi karena nomor tertinggi yang sedang dilayani adalah nomor 2201. Jadi ada 800 orang di depan saya! Alamak! Jam berapa saya akan selesai? Tetapi KBRIKL yang sekarang benar-benar telah berubah. Ada banyak sekali loket kaca transparan yang melayani kami dan setiap orang dilayani dengan profesional, ramah dan cepat. Yang menunggu duduk di kursi tidak boleh merokok karena ruangan berAC. Ruangan tunggu pun teratur dan bersih.

Setelah menunggu sekitar 1 jam, akhirnya nomor saya pun dipanggil. Saat saya sedang dilayani, seorang pejabat tinggi KBRI sedang memonitor situasi dan berhenti di loket saya untuk meminta pendapat saya mengenai sistem pelayanan KBRI yang sudah diperbaiki. Saya katakan bahwa saya sangat senang dengan perubahan totalnya. Beliau mengatakan bahwa sistem pelayanan masih tetap harus diperbaiki agar lebih sempurna lagi dalam melayani rakyat Indonesia di Malaysia. Wow! Saya bangga sekali mendengar hal tersebut. Saya salut dengan semangat baru KBRI KL. Setelah membayar 88 Ringgit, saya menunggu untuk dipanggil lagi. Sekitar 1 jam berikutnya, saya sudah mendapatkan paspor baru. Jadi total waktu pemrosesan adalah 2 jam pada hari yang sama! Wow! Ini benar-benar rekor terbaik dan tercepat yang pernah saya alami untuk perbarui paspor RI. Saya sudah 3 kali memperbarui paspor dan semuanya saya lakukan di KBRI dan KBRI KL lah yang tercepat. Syabas!Selamat atas perombakan drastis yang dilakukan di KBRI KL!

Sekarang berurusan dengan KBRI KL bukan mimpi buruk lagi buat saya.Tetapi lebih baik lagi kalau saya yang tinggal di Ipoh ini boleh memilih di mana saya ingin membuat paspor baru karena saat ini saya hanya boleh membuat paspor baru di KBRI KL, padahal dari tempat saya tinggal lebih dekat ke Konjen RI di Penang. Konjen RI di Penang tidak mau melayani karena Ipoh ada dibawah naungan KBRI KL. Kalau database dibuat link ke semua Konjen di Malaysia, rakyat Indonesia di Malaysia bisa memilih datang ke KBRI KL atau ke Konjen terdekat untuk menyelesaikan urusan mereka. Load di KBRI KL pun bisa dibagi ke Konjen jadi KBRI bisa lebih mudah memonitor dan membantu orang Indonesia di Malaysia. Begitu saja saran dari saya... :)

What a wonderful day

Another Halloween has just passed and still there was no children knocking on my door for a trick or treat because in Malaysia, Halloween is not a big thing. It is not easy to find some Halloween party supplies and props.

It didn't really matter to me because on Halloween day, I have something more important to celebrate; my journey to motherhood.

This year, I reached 4 years of motherhood. It's nothing, I know. I still have to learn a lot more especially now that there has been a new addition to the family since 2 months ago. I'm learning to manage my time properly and to multitask effectively so that I can be a more efficient mother. My children do not have to worry about my love for them. It's multiplied instead of divided. So, each child gets even more love.

It's proven to be not easy to be an efficient mother when things are really unpredictable with children. It took me a full week of multitasking to prepare the best party to celebrate my son's birthday and to celebrate my 4th year of motherhood. This was for the 1st time we invited our family and friends to join the celebration since we moved in to Peninsular Malaysia. I had to work with 1 hand because my other hand would carry my baby and breastfeed at the same time; shopping, preparing the goody bags for children, baking the birthday cake, decorating the house, cooking 2 dishes, preparing the video, and of course taking care my husband and children.
I also had to do some time management for my maid so that she could work efficiently to help me to prepare the party with cleaning up the house and cooking the other 2 dishes.
Since our apartment is tiny, we could invite 4 families only.
I was extremely busy until the last minute before our guests arrived. My maid couldn't bother to help me because she had to make sure the food was ready in time. My husband was still in the office having a very important meeting. So, yeah...when the guests came, I was still running around the house chasing my son with my baby screaming loudly asking for some milk. I really had no time to even catch my breath.

Thank God all my hard work was finally paid off. The guests were happy with our food and my son and I had a blast. My son was the happiest boy in the world that night for he got so many birthday presents. It was such a wonderful day for everyone.

Time flies. 4 years have passed and my son is going to grow bigger and bigger everyday. I still remember clearly the day when I heard him crying for the first time just out of my womb. It's still fresh in my memory how I struggled to be a 1st time mother all alone far away from my family. I still can recall easily how my friends became my immediate family since the day I found out I was pregnant. It's been 4 years and things have become better and better everyday. I never regret to be a mother. It is the most wonderful title a person could ever have. I love my children very much.
The love makes things possible and it works like caffeine for me when my spirit is down. It keeps me going when the goings get tougher.

For my beloved son: Happy 4th birthday!
For my self: Welcome to the more complicated world of motherhood!
Bring it on!! :D

Can I breastfeed?

My 4 years old son loves his little sister very much. He will be very proud every time mommy asks his help to change his baby sister's dirty nappy or get her pillow and bolsters. He even reminds me from time to time if I have changed baby's nappy or not. He'll ask if I have taken baby for a bath. Whenever his baby sister cries, he'll run and try his best to talk to her and comfort her by gently pat her hand and caressing her hair while saying, "Don't cry, baby! It's ok. Mommy will come soon. Don't worry!"

He also never fails to notice that every time his baby sister cries, mommy will pick her up and breastfeed her. As he is one curious boy, he always comes up to me and throws me with so many questions about why baby drinks milk from mommy's breasts.

One day, he saw his grandfather carrying his baby sister and the baby was crying. He asked his grandfather to breastfeed baby quickly. I told him that grandpa can't breastfeed baby and he asked me why because he saw that grandpa has big breasts just like mommy's... :D I had to explain to him why grandpa can't breastfeed the baby but apparently, my explanation was not enough because on a different day, I saw him running and quickly opening up his t-shirt and wanted to breastfeed his baby sister when he heard his sister cried. I couldn't help laughing and I quickly tried my best to explain to him that he wouldn't be able to breastfeed the baby because he is a boy just like his grandpa. I told him that only mommy can breastfeed the baby. He argued that he also has breasts same like mommy. I told him that his breasts can't produce milk like mommy's breasts. Then he asked me to quickly fill the milk to his breasts so that his breasts can have milk to give to baby. Wha..ha..ha... :D

He was so determined to breastfeed his baby sister. He thinks every one can breastfeed the baby including him. I asked him why he wanted to breastfeed. He told me that he loves his baby sister and wanted her to stop crying. He also wanted to see his baby sister to grow bigger just like him because mommy also gave breast milk to him last time when he was small (I successfully breastfed my son for 15 months). He remembered what I told him... :)

Even my son knows that breast milk is the best for his baby sister. If he can, he would love to give his baby sister the best food/drink in the world. I hope you do know it too. Give the best for your baby! Breast milk it is. It's free. It's convenient and very portable. It's readily available anytime with the right temperature, and no chemical added. So, you don't have to worry about contamination or tainted milk.

I've been breastfeeding my 2nd baby for nearly 2 months now and I hope to continue as long as she wants. The result so far is this:









Note: I'm very happy to know that many of the people I know have chosen to breastfeed their babies. So far my campaign of breastfeeding is showing positive effects.

Got the blues?

Yes, I did get the baby blues 4 years ago after I gave birth to my 1st child. I got it from the 2nd day after my son was born up to a week afterward. I got so frustrated, irritated, exhausted, and felt sad most of the time. I even cried every night for a week. Thank God I had such wonderful midwife and friends who were willing to go extra miles to save me from going into deep depression, and of course, the Plunket nurses were always available to pick up my midnight calls and talked to me about anything just to make me feel better.

Oh well, who wouldn't get baby blues if you were in my situation at that time. I was in my final year facing my last final examination when I had to give birth just a day before my final exam. I was a first time mother, knew nothing about motherhood and breastfeeding, all alone in a foreign land thousand miles away from my husband and family, haven't had a good night sleep for weeks because I studied hard to prepare for my final exam and never expected that the baby would come 2 weeks earlier. On top of that, I had to pack and to prepare all by myself to go back to Malaysia for good. I really had no time to rest physically and mentally. I never knew that having a baby was such a stressful experience not only because I had no experience at all, but also because of the hormonal upheaval that occurred in my body.

The blues hit me so hard it made me cried every night and felt so helpless and lonely. I felt sad all the time I found myself begging my newborn to give me a chance to rest and to sleep. I needed someone to talk to but not easy to find someone available and who was willing to listen to my woes. Even the people very close to me just couldn't understand why I cried all the time when I should be happy with the presence of my baby. Not everyone can understand about the baby blues especially if you never give birth before. They may think that it is just an excuse for first time mother especially, to cover up her inability to take care her newborn. So, instead of getting support that she needs it the most, she gets more difficult challenges to deal with these people who don't understand what she is going through. She'll feel even down and she can go into deep depression.

I read an article about baby blues written by DR Nor Ashikin Mokhtar in the Star newspaper. You can read the full article here: http://thestar.com.my/health/story.asp?file=/2008/9/21/health/2043971&sec=health
Do read the full article, especially for those who never give birth because it contains very good information on emotional reactions after giving birth.

According to the article, there are 3 types of emotional reactions to childbirth:

1. Postpartum Blues or Baby blues
2. Postnatal Depression
3. Puerperal Psychosis (the most serious postpartum emotional condition)
   

It is very important for mother who suffers from any of these emotional reactions to get full support emotionally and physically from her support persons, her family, and her friends.

Since I have experienced baby blues before, during my 2nd pregnancy my ob/gyn and his staff had to monitor my mental state throughout the pregnancy until after I gave birth to my 2nd child. They had to make sure that I had enough rest and they also informed my support person (my husband in this case) about the blues and asked him to give his full support so that I wouldn't get postnatal depression or even worst the puerperal psychosis.

So, my husband did anything he could to support me until I gave a green light for him to leave me when his duty called. I felt so much better on my 2nd childbirth because I already know what to do and what to expect when my baby is born. I've learned many tricks to handle my newborn as well. I don't think I experience baby blues this time but unfortunately, there is another type of blues I experience though; it's the maid blues, which is caused by...you know who...Gosh!! She's been nothing but trouble to me... : (

After the birth

I have about 30 minutes to update my blog before my little girl starts to scream for some breast milk. So I'm going to type very fast and hopefully I won't make too many grammatical errors.

It's been nearly a month since I gave birth to my 2nd child. So far I have been trying my best to observe the confinement period which I find it really hard to follow because this is my 1st time observing the confinement period. When I had my 1st baby, I didn't even know that there is a confinement period after giving birth. So, I decided to follow the rules of confinement period this time so that I can feel a little bit better. During the confinement period, I have to eat food that is cooked with generous amount of old ginger and sesame oil to expel the wind from my body. I am new to this confinement period so I don't really follow exactly what I have to do or what I'm not allowed to do such as not bathing and washing hair for a month. I definitely can't do this. I find it very unhygienic and I feel sorry for my newborn if I smell stink because she has to drink milk from my breasts. I cannot stay at home all the time either because I have to drive my son to school, run errands, and do groceries shopping with my newborn on tow everywhere I go since my hubby has gone to accept his overseas assignment as soon as I 'look' and 'sound' fine. She even had to follow me to fix my car flat tire.

I found an article about confinement period that is written by my favorite writer, Lydia Teh here: http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/3321/win14c.htm
and more tips about confinement period here: http://jamumassage.com/motherhood-blog/tips-new-moms-during-confinement-period

Time is very precious to me now that I have to take care 2 children simultaneously. If I am lucky, I will have 30 minutes to an hour of free time and I have to decide what to do to make the best of that free time. I have to choose whether I should catch up with my sleep, or take shower, or eat, or browse the internet. My baby doesn't like me to carry her in 1 arm while I type using the other hand. My boy will scream so loud also if I use the computer more than an hour because he wants to play games in Playhouse Disney website.

I'm still learning to be a mother of 2 children. My son is also still trying to accept the fact that now mommy has to run for the baby first whenever baby screams for breast milk. Not an easy thing to accept for sure. He has been showing tantrums and bad mood whenever mommy attends to his baby sister. If my husband is around, things will be easier for my son and me because then daddy can spend time with him while mommy takes care of baby sister.

Anyway, time is up for me. I have to post this quickly before my son presses any button on the keyboard because he has been waiting to use this computer. I hope I'll be able to steal more time to post more stories on my blog.

My bundles of joy

Finally, the wait is over.

The latest addition to our family was born last week at 7.45pm after 8 hours of labor at exactly 39 weeks. Our beautiful baby girl was 3.72kg and 53 cm when she was born.
There were 7 other babies who were born on the same day and she was the biggest one.

Nothing couldn't be more perfect that day to bring her out to this world. God had the best plan ever for me to deliver the baby; the father was there filming the birth process, the ob/gyn was there handling everything very professionally and my request for epidural was right on time too. Other than the unbearable tremendous pain that I had to go through after being induced, everything else was such a wonderful experience for me and for my husband.

The only person that was not able to share this happy moment that day was my 1st child. He had to stay at home the whole day and didn't have a chance to see mommy since morning. He cried so much on the phone wanting to see me when I was in the middle of labor. The last time he saw mommy was in the morning when mommy sent him to school. He missed his mommy and didn't understand why mommy had to stay long in the hospital. Only the next afternoon he was able to visit mommy and saw his baby sister for the first time. He grinned from left to right and hugged mommy so tightly while declaring, "I love my baby sister!"

Still waiting

At the moment, I'm still waiting to give birth which can happen any time now until end of the month. My ob/gyn said big chance that I'll give birth during this week because everything is ready. The baby's head is engaged very low. The cervix has diluted 2 cm. I just have to wait for a big major contraction that is strong enough to break the water. After the water breaks, the delivery of the baby will be pretty fast. So, I have to make sure I am not too far away from the hospital at this moment.

But now, I'm still waiting...and waiting...and waiting. I've been having painful contractions but not too strong. I can't sleep because I just got too excited and I keep on thinking about my son when I have to stay in the hospital to give birth. If only I could just take him to the hospital with me so that I can always see and monitor him....
I've got super paranoid about who will take care of my son other than me. I don't trust anyone at all, including my hubby.
Besides, I don't know why, my body feels extremely hot and I sweat so much even though I've set the air conditioner in my room to 16 degrees Celsius.

I want to be able to do so many things and also traveling around but at the moment, my mobility is really limited with such a huge tummy.This waiting period makes me feel agitated so easily. I also get bored and tired so easily. I get bored over so many things I usually love to do. I even get bored of checking emails, browsing internet, even writing a blog. So, I really need to finish this before I'm completely turned off.

Please pray for me so that I can have a smooth and quick delivery with my husband by my side (he's been tired of waiting also and just cannot wait to go overseas for his work assignment). Thank you so much in advance!

37 weeks pregnant

Starting this morning, I have to see my ob/gyn for a check up once a week until I'm in labor because I'm into my 37 week pregnancy counting by date. I can be in labor anytime now until 6th September. If on the 6th September I'm still not in labor yet, then I have to be induced. I really hope the baby will come out naturally without an induction. Though I've never done that before, I heard from many people after the induction, the mother will experience tremendous pain and will run out of energy to push the baby. The baby can become distressed as well.

On this morning check up my ob/gyn did an internal examination and swept my membranes because I have been experiencing a number of strong contractions for the past 2 weeks. It was not a pleasant experience though. It's rather painful but not too long. After the internal examination, I was informed that the baby's head is already very low and the cervix is opening up a little bit. Because of this, I was sent to do the Cardiotocograph (CTG) test for an hour in the labor ward. The CTG test is done by using a machine that has an instrument to be attached to my tummy to record baby's heart rate and to record any contractions. At the same time, I had to monitor the baby's movement. This test is important to monitor the baby's well being.

For an hour I could listen my baby's heartbeat. It sounded pleasant to my ears. The baby sounded very relax and when the baby moved I had to press a button for 3 seconds.
I had to bring the result back to my ob/gyn to be examined. According to the CTG test, there was no major contractions and no fetal distress so I could go back home. I was told to return to hospital immediately whenever I experience any signs of labor such as any bleeding, water breaks, or any major painful contractions. I hope I won't be in labor tonight because my husband is not around until tomorrow. I'm not afraid to face this alone but what I am worried the most is that my husband will be missing his chance to welcome his child again for the 2nd time. It's really not cool because he has missed the 1st one.

Makan pagi di rumahku

Ketika orang tuaku datang berkunjung, ibu bertanya kepadaku kenapa tidak pernah ada sarapan tersedia di meja makan. Beliau meminta pertanggung jawabanku sebagai seorang ibu, istri, dan ratu rumah kenapa aku tidak menyiapkan makan pagi untuk anggota keluargaku.

Jawabannya mudah saja; karena memang anggota keluargaku tidak suka makan sarapan yang aku buat untuk mereka. Bukannya aku sama sekali tidak pernah menyiapkan sarapan untuk keluargaku. Untuk anakku, sebagai seorang ibu, tentu aku selalu mencoba untuk memberikan dan menyiapkan makan pagi yang bergizi dan sehat untuknya, karena bagiku, makan pagi paling penting untuk memberikan energi yang cukup untuk melakukan aktifitas sepanjang hari.Tetapi, aku sudah capek hati karena setiap kali aku menyiapkan sarapan, selalu saja aku sendiri yang pada akhirnya menghabiskan semuanya.
Di rumahku aku selalu memastikan ada persediaan makanan untuk makan pagi yang sehat dan bergizi tinggi tanpa MSG, seperti: hash brown, roti gandum, keju, selai rasa buah beraneka rasa, coklat meses, coklat selai, cereal/oatmeal berbagai rasa lengkap dengan pernak perniknya seperti biji bunga matahari, kismis, apricot kering, dan teman-temannya, ada juga bihun/mie/nasi yang bisa digoreng atau dibuat sup karena aku punya banyak kelengkapannya seperti sosis, daging, tuna, dan sayur mayurnya. Untuk minuman: ada teh hijau, ada teh lipton, ada susu (susu segar dan susu coklat), ada kopi juga.
Buah-buahan segar pun tersedia lengkap: ada pepaya, ada pisang, ada jeruk, ada mangga, dan sebagainya. Buah-buahan kering pun juga tersedia.
Aku juga mencoba menyediakan makan pagi English breakfast or American breakfast.

Tetapi sayangnya, suamiku dibesarkan dengan selalu membeli sarapan di luar. Jadi, meskipun disiapkan sarapan yang sama persis (tanpa MSG) dengan yang dibelinya di luar, tetap saja tak disentuh sampai sarapannya jadi dingin dan tidak enak lagi dimakan, karena, kalau pagi-pagi belum keluar untuk makan mie yang pakai banyak MSG, belum sarapan namanya. Kalau tidak pakai MSG tidak afdol makananannya. D'oh sedih banget rasanya tiap kali ribut masalah MSG.

Sayangnya juga, anakku itu picky eater. Setiap kali mau sarapan, lebih baik aku tanya dulu dia mau makan apa karena kalau tidak, percuma saja dia tidak akan menyentuh makanan tersebut. Meskipun dia sudah memberikan jawaban mau makan apa, tetap saja, banyak makanan terbuang percuma karena anakku bisa tiba-tiba mengganti seleranya.

Sementara pembantuku juga sama saja. Aku selalu memberi kebebasan kepadanya untuk memakan apapun yang ada di rumahku tetapi yang selalu habis duluan adalah mie instant.

Jadi ya untuk apa aku capek-capek dan pusing-pusing menyiapkan makan pagi kalau setiap anggota keluargaku sudah punya kebiasaan makan pagi sendiri. Lebih baik aku siapkan makan pagi untuk diriku sendiri saja. Berhubung sekarang aku lagi hamil, jadi aku tidak bisa makan sembarangan lagipula, aku dibesarkan untuk selalu makan pagi di rumah. Lebih bersih, lebih sehat, dan lebih hemat.

Too many questions

My son is coming to 4 years old and he is entering the age when he knows he can use how, why, what, where, who, whose, and when to ask questions to every one to feed his curiosity. He will ask questions about anything to the very detail until you really have no idea how to answer him and wish that he stops questioning you. His questions can be very ridiculous or sounds weird and funny. For example, he asked me "Why today is raining?", "Why am I a boy and aunt Hanna is a girl?", "Why baby is inside mommy's tummy?", "How can baby go inside mommy's tummy?", "Why the train track is very long?". When I gave him the answer, he would continue his interrogations until I run out of answer.

Some people who have no patient will just keep quiet, don't bother to answer him and let him repeating the same question again and again. But my husband and I will try our best to answer every question he poses to us as tactful and careful as possible. There are times that we really gag because we need to think the best and the most appropriate words to explain to him so that at one point he will be satisfied and end his interrogations with "Oh I see." When he says that, we know he is satisfied and will stop questioning us for a moment before the next questions come up again about a different topic. We try to feed him with information as correct and accurate as possible because we don't want him to get the wrong understanding over things he asks. We will also refer him to his encyclopedia books, his children dictionary, or the information from TV shows to give him visual information so he can digest it easily.

It's not easy really. It's very frustrating sometimes because we just can't do anything when he starts to bug us with his questions. He will chase us and corner us until we give him answers that satisfy him. His teacher also informed me about this. At school, my son will ask his teacher so many questions about things he is interested in but when he is not interested in the subject, he will just sleep in the classroom...:)

The only time my son will stop asking questions is when he is busy doing his art work such as painting, coloring, and drawing, and when he is playing with his computer. He will be very silent and concentrate fully on his work. Even when he sleeps he will still ask questions! My husband and I have to wake up and answer his questions until he is satisfied with our answers and he'll go back to sleep.

Geez... he is like a computer that is hungry for some data. He takes all the answers, stores in his brain to be retrieved whenever he needs the data. If it's not enough, he'll try to get more input from any sources... :D

My husband and I can't wait until he can read so that we can guide him to get the answers from many sources not only from books and TV channels (TVIQ, Discovery, National Geography, Animal Planet, and The History Channel) but also from the internet.

In the mean time, we are quite happy to read things for him and try our best to feed his curiosity with the best knowledge possible.
This reminds me of my favourite McDonald commercial I saw in New Zealand years ago. The ad showed a little girl was having a conversation with his daddy and asked him where baby came from. Her daddy gagged for a while because he was a bit reluctant to answer her so he came out with "McDonald!" and the little girl was happy to talk about what to order and end her sentence with, "then you will tell me all about it." Which means she would still require her daddy to answer her first question "Where baby comes from?"...:D

A mother's story

Oahemm...sorry, I'm yawning. I'm extremely sleepy at the moment. I have not been having enough sleep for the past 1 week because first of all, the weather is very very hot. Ipoh has been so dry and hazy. Second of all, I have this terrible flu that makes my nose blocked. Even without the blocked nose, I already have difficulty breathing because of my growing belly that compresses my lung capacity. So, every night, I'm like a fish that needs some water.

I'm sorry about the whining and the complaining. I'm not in the mood of talking about good things. My brain is half asleep already but I still can't sleep because I have to watch my son who suddenly for no reason, has developed rashes all over his body since yesterday morning. I have to make sure he is not too hot otherwise the rashes will worsen and he won't stop scratching here and there until his body is very red. I can't stand to see him suffering like that.

Last night I didn't not sleep at all. Every time I was about to shut my eyes, my son woke up and started to scratch his body and I just had to put the lotion to soothe him down so that he could sleep again. The rashes go away as soon as I apply lotion directly on the affected area. I have no idea what causes the rashes to develop. My hubby thought it was the Dettol soap that my son used 2 days ago because his baby soap run out. But the rashes actually developed when he did not even showered with that Dettol soap and since that rashes developed, he has been showered with his own baby soap. Still the rashes come out when my son feels hot.

I'm going to take him to see his paediatrician soon. Hopefully, tonight, my son will be able to sleep well. I am very exhausted. Oh well, this is part of my duty to be a mother, right? It is in my job description as a mother that I have to stay awake at night and take care of my children's well being while others snore so loudly. I take this as an exercise before my baby comes out. Once I'm in labour, whe..he..he.., I can say 'good bye' to a good night sleep until at least a year later. I have known this when I choose to become a mother. It's tough but the reward is the heaven under my feet... :)
There is a saying in my language that goes like this: "Surga dibawah telapak kaki ibu" - The heaven is beneath a mother's feet. So, yeah, despite all the sacrifices and the complains I make, I am very proud to be a mother.

35-weeks pregnant

While I'm still able to sit in front of computer and have sometime for myself, I would try to allocate the time to update my blog as much as I can. But at the moment, I can't sit too long anymore now that I am entering my 35th week of pregnancy. My tummy is growing bigger it makes me difficult to sit on a soft couch and to get up again, especially if I have to get up after sitting on the floor. Sleeping, walking, and breathing have been proven to be more and more problematic during this period. I cannot walk too far and too long anymore because I will run out of breath and I will experience strong Braxton Hicks contraction at night. It's so strong it can take my breath away and I'll be gasping for some air while praying and whispering to the baby to stay longer inside my womb.

I do not want my baby to come out prematurely. My first child was born exactly on the 36th week (2 weeks earlier than the due date) and it was a very easy and quick normal delivery with no epidural involved. While the easy and quick normal delivery part has always been what I ask for in my prayer, the earlier-than-due-date part is not what I want. 3 of my son's cousins were born earlier than the due date as early as 32 - 35 weeks. I talk a lot to my baby inside the womb to stay longer at least until 37 weeks. I do not want my baby to come out too late as well (overdue). Overdue baby usually is quite big so I'm afraid I will have a difficult and long labor not to mention the possibility of having Cesarean Section.

Cesarean Section is never my preference because then I will have to stay longer in bed, feeling the pain after the big surgery and still have to take care the newborn and worry about when I can recover because I have another son to take care, a hubby that cannot wait to go for his overseas assignment, and a long list of my duty as a wife and a mother as well. But then, if C-section is the only way to deliver my baby, then I just have to cope with the problems later.

At 35 weeks pregnant, I'm supposed to enjoy the time with my other half as much as I can, but unfortunately, his work always comes first. I wanted to take him to go for a movie but it never materializes. He would say, "Tomorrow, tomorrow. I'm very busy today." and that tomorrow means "wait long long lah!!" Aiyoh!!!
I can just go by myself to the cinema and watch The dark knight but then I'm afraid if anything happens to me, no one will help because at this period, the preparation of my body for labor is getting more and more obvious. Anything can happen anywhere.

I have done some preparation for the baby and for staying in the hospital. I've packed the baby's bag and mine. I've washed everything including the breastpump but I haven't sterilized it. I've informed my maid to do it once the baby is out. I still have quite a number of things to be bought such as the baby mattress + bed sheet, the baby bottle/cups to store the breast milk, and the baby car seat. I'm still looking for the most suitable baby car seat around because my car is very small and I have installed 1 car seat for my 1st child. If I want to put another car seat, I have to make sure, the car seat is slim enough to fit the back seat of my car and still have some space for my maid to sit. Oh yes, my maid always wants me to take her whenever my hubby and I go out. She complains when she has to stay at home. When my parents came over to visit me, she had to stay at home because the car can't fit too many people and my maid was not happy about it. She scolded my parents for coming over and causing her to be left at home during family outing. My hubby and I have no plan to upgrade the car soon because we still have no budget for that. Besides, big car means more petrol. I still need to allocate the money for more urgent things like all the newborn needs and the house that is still under renovation. I want the house to be completed as soon as possible because the apartment I stay at the moment is getting smaller with the new addition to my family.

Ok, I think I've been sitting here quite sometime and I need to end this post quickly because my back is starting to ache and I'm getting hungry. Oh by the way, so far I've only put on 7Kgs in total and my body weight keeps going up and down. When I was pregnant with my 1st child, I gained 10Kgs in total for the whole duration of 9 months.

Potty training

My 3.8 years old son has just completed his potty training project. Now he is completely free of diaper, day and night. Yeah..I know..I know...it's a bit late but I am very satisfied with the process and the result. Basically, my son has already passed his potty training project for no-diaper during the day long time ago when he was only 2.5 years old. So, the potty training project this time was only for the night.

Only about 2 weeks ago, I finally got a green light from my husband to potty-train my son for no-diaper at night though I've been quietly training him as and when my hubby was not around but no good progress because my son knew he could still wear diaper when daddy was around.
My husband was very concerned about my son's lack of sleep if he had to be waken up in the middle of the night to pass urine and worried about me not having enough sleep if I had to wake up my son. But I believe, he was just very lazy to wake himself up to help my son to go to toilet at night and he didn't like our maid to put on her long face when she had to do more cleaning and washing of bedsheet, etc.,so my hubby requested me to keep my son diaper on longer.

So, after some jokes about my son not being able to let go his diaper until his teenage time, my husband finally opened up his eyes and agreed to help me to wake my son up and even to carry him to toilet every night to pass urine.

The project didn't go well for the first 1 week and of course, my maid really didn't like this project because she had to wash not only our bedsheet but also the blanket and pillow covers (though we put mattress protector, my son just couldn't sleep on 1 place), but she had no more supporter anymore since my hubby was on my side..wha..ha!
After the 1st week when my hubby was not around, I had to do the job of waking my son up and drag him to toilet (I'm pregnant so it's imposible to lift him up). Everynight before he sleeps I keep on telling and whispering to my son's ears not to pee on the bed. Miraculously, up to present, he nevers fails to wake up by himself and wake me up instead to help him to go to toilet.

Wha..ha..ha..I'm so happy that my son and I completed the project successfully only within 2 weeks. I thought it would take longer. This is great because then I don't have to buy more diaper for him. The cost can be allocated for his baby sister later.